In this day and age I meet plenty of women of all ages that are looking to feel more sexy. This can take many forms. Some are lacking sensation sexually. Others feel unhappy with their appearance. Some really want to spice up their love life with or without a partner. I’ve spent a life time working with sexuality in many different forms. I’ve experienced strong numbness. I’ve felt less than sexy. Now at 36 I feel sexier and more sensitive than I have ever felt. And it’s the kind of sexiness that comes from within. The kind of sexiness that comes from inside is the kind that is always there. It doesn’t fade because of who I’m with. I know myself as a sexy sexual being! Here is the route to feeling more sexy. This is a journey! It will take some time. But it will be so worth it. Feeling more sexy isn’t just about your love life. It’s about your confidence, your vibrance and your lust for life. Enjoy!
The most important thing I have learned is this :
Feeling more sexy begins with how you feel about yourself. How do you feel about your body? What is your relationship to your body like? How much time do you spend with yourself? (by this I mean doing nourishing things you enjoy) What is your internal dialogue like? Begin to build a relationship with yourself and your body! Setting this intention is the first step. Feeling more sexy is most certainly about confidence. It’s about letting go of needing external validation and knowing yourself as a sexy, sexual being. Once you feel this inside people will respond to it. Start to notice any negative inner dialogue. Would you spend time with someone who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? Begin to let go of these harsh comments. Perhaps place something kind and supportive next to them in your head. Start to become your own lover.
Movement – One of the most important ingredients to feeling more sexy is embodiment. All the sessions I offer involve becoming more embodied. What I mean by embodied is being fully present in your body and how it feels. From a place of embodiment come things like sensuality, pleasure and heightened sensation. Movement is one way to feel more embodied. Dance classes, martial arts (because to feel powerful is to feel more sexy!) are great ways to feel more sexy. Belly dance or burlesque are very sensual and are great because the emphasis of movement is around your hips. This is where all your sexy energy is so moving this place is a great way to begin moving and re-awakening your sexual energy.
Massage and Self Pleasure: Getting to know your body through touch is a great way to feel more sexy. Learn about how it likes to experience pleasure. Every body is different. Yours will be unique in its expression of pleasure to. Spend time with it. You could take a massage or you could massage yourself. A little movement before your massage is great for experiencing even more embodiment. An Orgasmic Yoga practice is a great way of exploring your body’s capacity for pleasure. Self pleasure in front of a mirror. Let go of any nasty judgements. Breathe deep.
Breath – Feel more sexy with breath. It is breath that is the key to creating new habits and ways of thinking. The oxygen assists in creating new neural pathways within the brain. Breath is another key to embodiment and embodiment brings, sensuality, heightened sensitivity and pleasure! Breathe into every movement you make. Breathe into your body as you touch it. Breathe into pleasure.
Get out into your community – Finding others on a similar journey can be supportive and very helpful. This can take many forms. There are many Tantra workshops and women’s circles out there that work with these particular issues. Even visiting a naturist spa can give you a more realistic idea of your body and it’s shape. It’s actually beautiful that we are all different shapes and your specific shape is super special because of its uniqueness.
Want to feel more sexy? Need some help? I offer many different sessions to women that are based on re-uniting them with their sexiness. They may involve massage or self pleasure coaching and helping to release shame. Please see my sessions to increase capacity for pleasure here and sessions for healing here.