Body Image Issues: How To love Your Body

Learn how to overcome body image issues. Learn how to love your body.

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Photo by Stokpic on


Body image issues: We are constantly bombarded with images of how we should look.  For many years now the beauty industry has been using shame and telling women they aren’t good enough to sell us products and make money.  Read more about this here.  Of course this type of campaign causes body image issues.  The truth is we’re all meant to be different shapes, sizes and colours!  Variety really is the spice of life!  How do you feel about your body?  Do you feel you have body image issues?

I’ve spent many years going to Tantra workshops.  Learning to love your body is a big part of becoming more embodied.  Yet even with all the training I’ve had I can still be so cruel to myself at times.  Have you ever caught your inner dialogue?  Would you spend time with someone who spoke to you that way? Over coming body image issues is definitely something that takes many years.  Perhaps a lifetime.  But It’s worth it.  You’re worth it!  Because being sexy isn’t really about being super skinny with perfect skin.  Being sexy starts with feeling sexy.  In fact that’s all you need.

I would like to share some of the ways I help myself to overcome my own body image issues:

A regular, conscious self pleasure practice 

Over come body image issues with a regular, conscious self pleasure practice.  Move away from the quickie to knock you out before bedtime and save an hour for yourself perhaps once a week. Take your time over your body.  Be the lover you’ve always craved!  Because lets face it.  No one but NO ONE is going to be able to make love to you like you can!  Its your body after all.  If you can’t make love to yourself in a way that feels amazing don’t expect anyone else to!  Getting to this point takes time and a little dedication.  A regular and conscious self pleasure practice helps me to see and feel the beauty of my body.  It helps me notice the softness of my flesh.  It helps me notice how utterly feminine I am and how wonderful that feels.  I forget about lumps and bumps. There’s no one to impress but me.  I move into my pleasure.  When I feel sexy I am sexy.  This is your new mantra!  Repeat!

“When I feel sexy, I am sexy.”

Visit spa’s, go to Tantra workshops, or other places where you’ll see many naked bodies

Over come body image issues by visiting spa’s & Tantra workshops. Now I know this sounds a bit scary.  You can go to women’s only spa’s and women only Tantra workshops.   This is where you see so many different shapes and sizes.  You’ll start to see how beautiful it is that we are all different shapes and sizes. I know a spa in West London that has women only days and you can be naked. It’s not particularly glamorous.  But it feels lovely to be naked with lots of other people.  It’s like everyone has their mask off.  It feels real and beautiful. I often go there to chill out.  See here for more details.  There are also many women only Tantra workshops.  Shakti Tantra is the one I know the best.  This was really the start of my journey of looking at my body image issues and learning to overcome them.  I also met loads of amazing women this way! Patriarchy teaches us that women are weak.  And being a woman is all about being pretty, thin, silent and graceful. ( Just for fun please see: man who has it all on twitter.  A spoof page that sums this rubbish up perfectly)  Women only Tantra workshops were the start of me understanding the power and the beauty of the feminine that had been denied me for so many years.

Dance Classes and Massage

Over come body image issues by using your body in ways that make you happy.  Visit a dance class of your choice or go for a massage.  Personally, I love to belly dance.  When ever I dance I re-connect with my femininity.  Remember to be patient with yourself while you’re learning.  It feels good to take care of my body in this way to. I shall be running some dance workshops soon that focus on reconnecting with the earth, our femininity and our creative flow.  Watch this space.

It’s so nice to receive a massage to.  Giving to your body and taking care of your body in different ways is a great way to over come body image issues.  Sometimes I just go for a fifteen minute one if I don’t have time.  It still feels great and reconnects me to sensuality.

Watch your inner dialogue

Overcome body image issues by watching your inner dialogue.  Remember you are always listening! You could spend some time making a small list of things you love about yourself every day, breathing into every note you make.  When you catch yourself being unkind, remember that list.  Or at least something from it.


I offer sessions to help people overcome body image issues. They may involve some nudity.  But we can go at your pace.  Please see here or call me on 07445722481 for more details.


The Numb Vagina & How To Reclaim Your Pleasure.

Experiencing a numb vagina is incredibly common.  It is the most popular complaint I hear from women.  I have also experienced numb vagina and a lack of sensation several times in my life.  A numb vagina can be caused by many factors.  It can be caused by general stress and/or shame.  It can be caused by trauma or bad sexual experiences.  It can also be caused by being in the head too much during sex.  This is also a stress related habit.  This stress stores within the cells of our body and creates an armouring.  It is our body’s way of protecting us from the stress of life.  But it creates numbness.  The vagina and womb area is such a centre of power for us.  It connects us to so much more than sexual pleasure.  It is deeply connected to our truth.  It is also involved in our connection to the Earth.  Grounding us into our truth.  When we experience numb vagina we can lose touch with that centre of power.   As women, we are bombarded with all kinds of rubbish about how to behave sexually.  Don’t be too sexy, don’t be too frigid, keep your knees together etc etc. I feel it is so important for us to let go of the shame and reclaim power over our sexuality.  4acda905c153a939984fd9c3a5777020

Here is a little about my story and how I came to experience the numb vagina.  After eight years of Tantra I can now see that I was never taught good boundaries. I was never taught to speak my authentic no’s and yes’s.  I was never taught to know the difference.  But I was taught how to keep other people happy.  I was subtly taught that keeping other people happy was very important! This is nobodies fault.  It is simply the way it was for past generations.   Sexually, I didn’t know what my authentic yes was and what my authentic no was.  Sometimes I thought that I wanted to make love with someone.  Now I know my body was actually saying NO! Quite loudly in fact.  After a while and many mistakes my body began to shut down.  I lost sensation and the art of experiencing sexual pleasure. I then came to experience the numb vagina. This is just one of the reasons it can happen. The work I have done through Tantra and conscious sexuality has really helped me to step into my truth and enabled me to speak my authentic no when I need to.  Knowing your boundaries, knowing what your authentic no and what your authentic yes feels like within the body is incredibly powerful and important work that is often under estimated.

Once I found Tantra it was literally a God send.  I spent eighteen months having monthly sessions with different practitioners.  Now my entire body is more sensitive than it has ever been.  There are times when I am so busy in my life that I forget to give myself the self care that I need.  When this happens, I can experience a numb vagina again.  The things I do to help are:

  • Body work: self pleasure or intimate massage lead by my body. ( I follow my pleasure.  I Use the breath to breathe into my touch to help with this.)
  • I dance and connect with the earth through meditation.
  • I allow myself to release emotions trapped in my body that are causing the numbness. This means crying as loud as I need to if necessary!


You don’t need to put up with a numb vagina! It is totally possible to re-sensitise your body.  It will take you on a journey that will bring so much pleasure and self empowerment.  Don’t put up with the numb vagina.


Are you experiencing a numb vagina?  Do you lack sensation?  Yoni Healing and vaginal Mapping sessions combined with coaching can really help.  We need at least two hours for this type of session.  Please see my Healing Sessions Page here.

Please call me on 07445722481 for more details.  you can also use the contact form here.


How To Feel More Sexy

_MG_0801_BlowingPetalsIn this day and age I meet plenty of women of all ages that are looking to feel more sexy.  This can take many forms.  Some are lacking sensation sexually.  Others feel unhappy with their appearance.  Some really want to spice up their love life with or without a partner.  I’ve spent a life time working with sexuality in many different forms. I’ve experienced strong numbness.  I’ve felt less than sexy.  Now at 36 I feel sexier and more sensitive than I have ever felt.  And it’s the kind of sexiness that comes from within.  The kind of sexiness that comes from inside is the kind that is always there.  It doesn’t fade because of who I’m with.  I know myself as a sexy sexual being!  Here is the route to feeling more sexy.  This is a journey!  It will take some time.  But it will be so worth it.  Feeling more sexy isn’t just about your love life.  It’s about your confidence, your vibrance and your lust for life.  Enjoy!

The most important thing I have learned is this :

Feeling more sexy begins with how you feel about yourself.  How do you feel about your body? What is your relationship to your body like?  How much time do you spend with yourself? (by this I mean doing nourishing things you enjoy)  What is your internal dialogue like?  Begin to build a relationship with yourself and your body!  Setting this intention is the first step.   Feeling more sexy is most certainly about confidence.  It’s about letting go of needing external validation and knowing yourself as a sexy, sexual being.  Once you feel this inside people will respond to it.  Start to notice any negative inner dialogue.  Would you spend time with someone who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself?  Begin to let go of these harsh comments.  Perhaps place something kind and supportive next to them in your head. Start to become your own lover.

Movement – One of the most important ingredients to feeling more sexy is embodiment.    All the sessions I offer involve becoming more embodied.  What I mean by embodied is being fully present in your body and how it feels.  From a place of embodiment come things like sensuality, pleasure and heightened sensation.  Movement is one way to feel more embodied.  Dance classes, martial arts (because to feel powerful is to feel more sexy!) are great ways to feel more sexy.  Belly dance or burlesque are very sensual and are great because the emphasis of movement is around your hips.  This is where all your sexy energy is so moving this place is a great way to begin moving and re-awakening your sexual energy.

Massage and Self Pleasure:  Getting to know your body through touch is a great way to feel more sexy.  Learn about how it likes to experience pleasure.  Every body is different.  Yours will be unique in its expression of pleasure to.  Spend time with it.  You could take a massage or you could massage yourself.  A little movement before your massage is great for experiencing even more embodiment.  An Orgasmic Yoga practice is a great way of exploring your body’s capacity for pleasure.  Self pleasure in front of a mirror.  Let go of any nasty judgements.  Breathe deep.

Breath – Feel more sexy with breath.  It is breath that is the key to creating new habits and ways of thinking. The oxygen assists in creating new neural pathways within the brain. Breath is another key to embodiment and embodiment brings, sensuality, heightened sensitivity and pleasure! Breathe into every movement you make.  Breathe into your body as you touch it.  Breathe into pleasure.

Get out into your community –  Finding others on a similar journey can be supportive and very helpful.  This can take many forms.   There are many Tantra workshops and women’s circles out there that work with these particular issues.  Even visiting a naturist spa can give you a more realistic idea of your body and it’s shape.  It’s actually beautiful that we are all different shapes and your specific shape is super special because of its uniqueness.


Want to feel more sexy?  Need some help?  I offer many different sessions to women that are based on re-uniting them with their sexiness.  They may involve massage or self pleasure coaching and helping to release shame.  Please see my sessions to increase capacity for pleasure here and sessions for healing here.


An Introduction To The Blissful Practice Of Orgasmic Yoga

Part of my recent training to become a Sexological body worker has been to explore the practice of Orgasmic Yoga.  Orgasmic yoga is something that can be practiced alone.  It incorporates breath, movement, sound and intention with body work for the purposes of increasing embodiment, sensitivity and so much more.  It moves sexual energy around the body, increasing energy, vitality and happiness. It can be helpful for releasing feelings of guilt, shame or numbness within the cells of the body.  We recommend a 30 minute practice every day.  Or as often as you can manage.  Your practice could include mindful self pleasure.  Breathing into every caress you make on your body.  It could include meditation.  Bringing your presence and awareness into your genitals.  Focusing on each part individually. You could combine dance into this practice.  Mindfully moving your body with an intention to move sexual energy around the body.  So long as your mind is present on your body and the beautiful sensations you create.  If you use the breath to increase these beautiful sensations (you can do this by breathing into them).  Perhaps using your intention to move these sensations around the body you will begin to notice a sense of aliveness and a new and exciting sense of connection and sensitivity within your body.   You could spend a few minutes at the beginning of your practice breathing into your body and relaxing.  Mentally ask yourself “what would my body like to receive today?”  See what you feel.  Then do it.  You  might even just feel like taking a bath with scented candles or a walk in nature.  I challenge you to spend just half an hour a day giving yourself this time and love.  See what happens!

Throughout my daily Orgasmic Yoga practice I began to notice an innate sense of connection with our planet.  When ever I connect deeply with my sex through Orgasmic Yoga, Yoni healing and mapping sessions I’ll have visions of such beautiful natural landscapes.  I feel that sense of softness that can be felt in nature. These images come straight from my womb and Yoni.   It is such a beautiful feeling that it brings tears to my eyes as I write this.  As I see and feel this connection I really get the feeling that my body is some how connected to our beautiful planet.

I include an Orgasmic Yoga practice here for people with vaginas.  It’s intention is to bring more harmony between us and our beautiful surroundings.  You could feel energized and more joyful afterwards. Emotions may flow and with practice sensitivity within your body will increase. It will certainly help to develop your sense of connection to our planet and nature.  Enjoy!

Making Love to the Universe (for People with Vaginas.)

This is a great way to become more embodied and to increase your sense of connection with nature and all the beauty that surrounds you on this planet.

Take yourself off to a place in nature. Find a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed. (Although I have done this in busy parks just as well! I use sunglasses to cover my face for a little discretion) Lie on your back with your knees bent and close your eyes. Relax the jaw. Pick one of the elements in nature to focus on. Lets use the sun as an example:

Mentally greet the sun as though it were a friend or lover. Bring your consciousness into the feeling of the sun on your skin. Breathe into this feeling. Feel its warm rays like gentle kisses on your body. As you breathe out, breathe your appreciation towards the sun through your heart. Keep doing this. You can visualize a flow of light between you and the sun if you like. Use movement and sound to move this beautiful feeling through your body as you breathe sunlight in through your skin. Sending your appreciative feelings through your heart towards the sun. Keep your jaw relaxed as you do so. After you have done this for a while use the straw breath and breathe the loving energy of the sun up through your vulva. Imagine using your vulva lips to breath this delicious energy up through your inner flute (The inner flute is a channel that runs from your sex through the center of your body to the crown of your head. Visualize or feel this light from the sun moving up this channel as you inhale and down this channel as you exhale. Breathe it out through your sex to the sun) Arch your back or move in whatever way feels good to accentuate and enhance this flow. Use the pelvic floor muscle to enhance the flow of pleasure through the body. Experiment with allowing the energy to flow back through the heart towards the sun. Keep the body relaxed as you do this. Be open to allowing emotions to flow if they come naturally. Do this for as long as feels good.

This can be done with any of the elements. The earth, fire, water and wind. Experiment with sound and movement to enhance the feelings of connection and pleasure that arise.