In this day and age I meet plenty of women of all ages that are looking to feel more sexy. This can take many forms. Some are lacking sensation sexually. Others feel unhappy with their appearance. Some really want to spice up their love life with or without a partner. I’ve spent a life time working with sexuality in many different forms. I’ve experienced strong numbness. I’ve felt less than sexy. Now at 36 I feel sexier and more sensitive than I have ever felt. And it’s the kind of sexiness that comes from within. The kind of sexiness that comes from inside is the kind that is always there. It doesn’t fade because of who I’m with. I know myself as a sexy sexual being! Here is the route to feeling more sexy. This is a journey! It will take some time. But it will be so worth it. Feeling more sexy isn’t just about your love life. It’s about your confidence, your vibrance and your lust for life. Enjoy!
The most important thing I have learned is this :
Feeling more sexy begins with how you feel about yourself. How do you feel about your body? What is your relationship to your body like? How much time do you spend with yourself? (by this I mean doing nourishing things you enjoy) What is your internal dialogue like? Begin to build a relationship with yourself and your body! Setting this intention is the first step. Feeling more sexy is most certainly about confidence. It’s about letting go of needing external validation and knowing yourself as a sexy, sexual being. Once you feel this inside people will respond to it. Start to notice any negative inner dialogue. Would you spend time with someone who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself? Begin to let go of these harsh comments. Perhaps place something kind and supportive next to them in your head. Start to become your own lover.
Movement – One of the most important ingredients to feeling more sexy is embodiment. All the sessions I offer involve becoming more embodied. What I mean by embodied is being fully present in your body and how it feels. From a place of embodiment come things like sensuality, pleasure and heightened sensation. Movement is one way to feel more embodied. Dance classes, martial arts (because to feel powerful is to feel more sexy!) are great ways to feel more sexy. Belly dance or burlesque are very sensual and are great because the emphasis of movement is around your hips. This is where all your sexy energy is so moving this place is a great way to begin moving and re-awakening your sexual energy.
Massage and Self Pleasure: Getting to know your body through touch is a great way to feel more sexy. Learn about how it likes to experience pleasure. Every body is different. Yours will be unique in its expression of pleasure to. Spend time with it. You could take a massage or you could massage yourself. A little movement before your massage is great for experiencing even more embodiment. An Orgasmic Yoga practice is a great way of exploring your body’s capacity for pleasure. Self pleasure in front of a mirror. Let go of any nasty judgements. Breathe deep.
Breath – Feel more sexy with breath. It is breath that is the key to creating new habits and ways of thinking. The oxygen assists in creating new neural pathways within the brain. Breath is another key to embodiment and embodiment brings, sensuality, heightened sensitivity and pleasure! Breathe into every movement you make. Breathe into your body as you touch it. Breathe into pleasure.
Get out into your community – Finding others on a similar journey can be supportive and very helpful. This can take many forms. There are many Tantra workshops and women’s circles out there that work with these particular issues. Even visiting a naturist spa can give you a more realistic idea of your body and it’s shape. It’s actually beautiful that we are all different shapes and your specific shape is super special because of its uniqueness.
Want to feel more sexy? Need some help? I offer many different sessions to women that are based on re-uniting them with their sexiness. They may involve massage or self pleasure coaching and helping to release shame. Please see my sessions to increase capacity for pleasure here and sessions for healing here.
An Introduction To The Blissful Practice Of Orgasmic Yoga
Part of my recent training to become a Sexological body worker has been to explore the practice of Orgasmic Yoga. Orgasmic yoga is something that can be practiced alone. It incorporates breath, movement, sound and intention with body work for the purposes of increasing embodiment, sensitivity and so much more. It moves sexual energy around the body, increasing energy, vitality and happiness. It can be helpful for releasing feelings of guilt, shame or numbness within the cells of the body. We recommend a 30 minute practice every day. Or as often as you can manage. Your practice could include mindful self pleasure. Breathing into every caress you make on your body. It could include meditation. Bringing your presence and awareness into your genitals. Focusing on each part individually. You could combine dance into this practice. Mindfully moving your body with an intention to move sexual energy around the body. So long as your mind is present on your body and the beautiful sensations you create. If you use the breath to increase these beautiful sensations (you can do this by breathing into them). Perhaps using your intention to move these sensations around the body you will begin to notice a sense of aliveness and a new and exciting sense of connection and sensitivity within your body. You could spend a few minutes at the beginning of your practice breathing into your body and relaxing. Mentally ask yourself “what would my body like to receive today?” See what you feel. Then do it. You might even just feel like taking a bath with scented candles or a walk in nature. I challenge you to spend just half an hour a day giving yourself this time and love. See what happens!
Throughout my daily Orgasmic Yoga practice I began to notice an innate sense of connection with our planet. When ever I connect deeply with my sex through Orgasmic Yoga, Yoni healing and mapping sessions I’ll have visions of such beautiful natural landscapes. I feel that sense of softness that can be felt in nature. These images come straight from my womb and Yoni. It is such a beautiful feeling that it brings tears to my eyes as I write this. As I see and feel this connection I really get the feeling that my body is some how connected to our beautiful planet.
I include an Orgasmic Yoga practice here for people with vaginas. It’s intention is to bring more harmony between us and our beautiful surroundings. You could feel energized and more joyful afterwards. Emotions may flow and with practice sensitivity within your body will increase. It will certainly help to develop your sense of connection to our planet and nature. Enjoy!
Making Love to the Universe (for People with Vaginas.)
This is a great way to become more embodied and to increase your sense of connection with nature and all the beauty that surrounds you on this planet.
Take yourself off to a place in nature. Find a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed. (Although I have done this in busy parks just as well! I use sunglasses to cover my face for a little discretion) Lie on your back with your knees bent and close your eyes. Relax the jaw. Pick one of the elements in nature to focus on. Lets use the sun as an example:
Mentally greet the sun as though it were a friend or lover. Bring your consciousness into the feeling of the sun on your skin. Breathe into this feeling. Feel its warm rays like gentle kisses on your body. As you breathe out, breathe your appreciation towards the sun through your heart. Keep doing this. You can visualize a flow of light between you and the sun if you like. Use movement and sound to move this beautiful feeling through your body as you breathe sunlight in through your skin. Sending your appreciative feelings through your heart towards the sun. Keep your jaw relaxed as you do so. After you have done this for a while use the straw breath and breathe the loving energy of the sun up through your vulva. Imagine using your vulva lips to breath this delicious energy up through your inner flute (The inner flute is a channel that runs from your sex through the center of your body to the crown of your head. Visualize or feel this light from the sun moving up this channel as you inhale and down this channel as you exhale. Breathe it out through your sex to the sun) Arch your back or move in whatever way feels good to accentuate and enhance this flow. Use the pelvic floor muscle to enhance the flow of pleasure through the body. Experiment with allowing the energy to flow back through the heart towards the sun. Keep the body relaxed as you do this. Be open to allowing emotions to flow if they come naturally. Do this for as long as feels good.
This can be done with any of the elements. The earth, fire, water and wind. Experiment with sound and movement to enhance the feelings of connection and pleasure that arise.